I have a big smile, a big heart, and an even bigger mind. I drink too much coffee and eat too much sushi. I laugh loudly and wear lots of jewelry. I am young, running wild and free.
This blog offers a peek into my jumbled mind and you all are welcome to come along for the ride.
I started to memorize
The way you kept your room
with each odd and end in a certain place.
You didn’t want to forget any detail,
any memory attached to them.
The way you’d wrap your arms around me
like I was some small, sacred object
that needed to be kept guarded
in the warmth of your body.
The way you couldn’t sleep with socks on
but had to keep them on
until you were just about to fall asleep.
Deep breathing, eyes flickering shut.
The way you’d play with my hair until you got sleepy,
not until I fell asleep,
but you’d roll over to check
and I’d pretend not to notice.
The way you remembered things
from days, weeks, months, years ago.
“This is what it would have been like if I wasn’t too scared to take you to prom,”
taking my hand and spinning me around.
How your voice sounded while you sang.
The stubble on your chin.
Every detail of your tattoo.
The way your fingers moved on a guitar’s strings.
How your hand felt in mine.
I memorized it all
because I knew you’d be gone
Now you are.
I wish I could forget it all,
but I can’t.
I force myself to sleep
But when I wake up you still won’t be with me
But in my dreams you remembered my name